THOSE PEOPLE

A black magazine for people too hip for black magazines. 

Pokemon Go What

Pokemon Go What

 

A. [in which i hardly mention pokemon]

so, clinton did some ironic shit. i love the clintons more,

the longer i pay attention. they don’t even try to hide their

fraud. it’s gorgeous. voter registration is a mother fucker,

isn’t it? how y’all feel about murder? i feel like it’s time to

get real as hell right now. because i sound crazy when

i observe history (give or take a bit of perspective).

i hate capitalism. hate it. hate. capitalism. why is that?

maybe, because i pay attention. and as far as i can tell, capitalism always becomes a choice.

between a person and a dollar. and the dollar always wins. this is why i fear corporate

personhood. because, the only reason for a corporation to become a person is to absolve

individual people from their complicity in the cycle of violence. this is one of those light pieces.

everybody wakes up at their own pace, in their own time. my approach to liberation involved a

lot of hip hop & way too much of the bush administration. in 2005, congress passed the military

commissions act. people mostly didn’t notice. i remember, as part of the Hip Hop 101

Conference at Oberlin College — one of the years i was there — Tricia Rose came to speak. i’d

never heard of her. but she said something that messed with me. “black people are the original

product of capitalism.” go ahead and argue.

B. [our thesis or whatever]

fucking voter fraud. god damn it. apparently sanders lost. this is what i hear. cool, buddy. so now

i’m a mad man (again) but i don’t take direction particularly well and millions of us are unwilling

to vote for clinton. so here we are, homie. now let me clarify: i’m focusing on pokemon go at the

moment for some reason. i’d like to argue someone asked me to, but that’s not completely

accurate. in any case — here’s what clinton said: hold up, let me paraphrase. because honestly her

joke writers are fucking up. here’s what she should have said. “Could Somebody Ask Pokemon

To Go To The Polls In November … !?” i keep reflecting on the holocaust. on how many pokemon

keep going to holocaust museums and somehow about how close we’ve been in 2016 to a

holocaust survivor in the White House. what would it mean in 2016 to see a holocaust survivor

in the oval office? jesus fucking christ. i would find it comforting. like french toast in the morning

and a solid wifi connection. like the warm bosom of a plump woman. anyhow. everybody does

what the fuck they have to do. i’m not sure if pokemon is a distraction, if dallas is a distraction. i

can’t tell effective resistance from establishment, from chaos. how do we change the world?

through marching? through speaking? writing? people tell me that social media has zero impact

(even after the egyptian revolution and black twitter on ferguson) and even after the bible and

shakespeare and Johnny Swift. i believe stand up comedy could be the most perfect iteration of

the first amendment but my shows have no audience so what the fuck do i know? meanwhile,

the african genocide is ongoing.

Baraka Noel by Unknown

Baraka Noel by Unknown

C. [etc]

but hill dog is right, tho. oregon is starting to catch on (white

supremacy notwithstanding). oregon implemented a semi-

universal voter registration: all you have to do is get a driver’s

license. which is pretty cool. thanks, oregon.

pokemon go seems to have tapped into 99% of the folks with

access to LTE or the verizon network or fiber optics or however

the fuck all this stuff works — i have no marketable skills. but, these days homeless kids have

iPhones and technically i’m one of them. go privilege. i sort of concluded that my life has been

synonymous with gentrification. apparently, i’m white — according to my politics. and i’m

sheltered enough to believe a trump presidency would be better than the binary alternative

we’ve been presented with. but after the myth of the minority, all we have is a lot of people

getting fucked over by a few… and i’m nostalgic for a time when i believed in some shit. i haven’t

been excited for a while. but in middle school, sega released an x men game for genesis and it

was all any of us could talk about. i actually hate pokemon (and barney and power rangers) cuz

my fantasy of choice involves marvel comics and hours of imaginary superpowers and magic the

gathering and one busted ass game of D&D with a playing card wielding dungeon master. my

imagination is full these days but back in the Nintendo Days, anything was possible in the

jungles of Contra. at the time, i didn’t realize where contra was set. i didn’t know about the CIA

operation, instigated through Reagan’s administration — to infect POC with addiction and

disease, i didn’t know that Just Say No was an ironic attack on the same populations the Gipper

was targeting through his racist policing and trickle down supremacy. at the time, i didn’t know

what a semi automatic weapon could do in a crowded school or dance club or movie theater. i

just thought the graphics looked cool in 16 or 64 bits, whatever we could get our hands on.

community manifested through teamwork in a ninja turtle arcade game at chuckie cheese. i

wasn’t stressing racism as a 5 year old at Croyden Court, i was mostly concerned about sharing

someone else’s toys instead of mine. about figuring out how to manipulate mario with the

dexterity of the neighbor’s downstairs. i’ve spent my whole life lost in media. watching Mario

Mario wander the depths of imaginary plumbing. hearing alec baldwin send me into the

crevasse — because sometimes the only way out is directly through the shit.

D: Not All Who Wander

i want to be the black bill murray. or the male tina fey. i want a reason

to hate lorne michaels. i’ve spent my life watching comics dissect our

dysfunctional utopia. universal dystopia. whatever.

i want to be #BlackMagicMIC

i’d like to recall Hip Hop again; i wish i could time travel back to 1984

and be the illest emcee of all time. for all time. i want to get the GOAT.

i want to be the greatest or the best or the first. not the first black. just.

the. first. nahmean? i want a month longer than february. i want a family

tree without no strange fruit. i’m jusayin. i want another chance, please.

a workshop from Angela Davis and a cuban cypher. a song from assata

or a lost biggie verse. i want to fucking feel something again. please.

but i heard orpah bought BET and i believe Black means more than shadow.

i’ve heard a lot of theories bout a lot of shit. but i’d still like to believe that

all men are created equal. and i wonder which app dismantles patriarchy.

cuz with all the bullets flying i can’t find the friendly fire. so if i could choose,

i guess i wouldn’t mind a little monster on my side. whatever you call it.

#FirstWorldProblems

 
[Thank You for Reminding Me That] Black Lives Matter

[Thank You for Reminding Me That] Black Lives Matter

Don't be a Fuckboy  — Don't, Just Don't

Don't be a Fuckboy  — Don't, Just Don't